0:14 hello and welcome to live love by design TV I’m Karen Chaston the founder of
0:21 live love by design the host and executive producer of this amazing TV
0:26 show a place where you will learn to live and love each and every day to love
0:32 who you are to love your life and to create your dreams faster and today i
0:40 have an another amazing guest I just love the people who come to me so that I
0:46 can share on this show these people what they’re doing in the world
0:51 what difference they are making and today it is the beautiful Maria Paterakis
0:57 welcome Maria hello I’m so excited to be here thank you for having
1:04 me Karen I am so glad you are going to be a most amazing guest I just know you
1:10 are now Maria is the host and producer of Retiring with joy TV a show that
1:18 supports women yes women go girls to live with passion purpose and vitality
1:25 not only before they or after they retire but building up to it so that
1:31 they can live and love their life so tell us a little bit more about that
1:36 Maria so I’m also a women’s counselor which is the real foundation of where
1:41 this idea came from I wanted to create a program that helped women transition
1:48 into their retirement because I think that women we we kind of have some very
1:54 unique pitfalls that we can fall into if we’re not careful and I want women to
1:59 really enjoy their retirement I guess it came from watching a lot of women around
2:05 me when I was growing up do that transition and not be living the life
2:10 that they want I totally understand there are so many people who are living
2:15 on Social Security their pension is what it’s called in Australia and they really
2:22 are not thriving they sometimes they just merely
2:26 surviving aren’t they they are but also for women there are some emotional
2:31 social pitfalls that you might even have the funds to retire but you still fall
2:36 into these pitfalls because you’re not prepared for the emotional transition
2:40 that needs to come with retirement oh that’s an interesting thing but I want
2:44 to go back because I’m a believer of who we are today is the sum of all of our
2:52 experiences absolutely going to go back so I’m gonna go the little you know the
2:57 little time machine we’re going to go back to Maria and your inner child so, oh do we want to do that, really of course we do
3:15 So Maria who were you as a child like give me a little bit of your background
3:19 you know where you came in the family all those other things just briefly okay
3:24 so I am the oldest of three girls I was born in Darwin the Northern Territory I
3:30 like to say I was conceived born and bred there and I lived there well into
3:34 my 30s were you in Darwin were you born before or after cyclone tracy I was
3:41 nearly two years old when cyclone Tracy hit so you were aware of it then yeah
3:46 well I don’t really remember it but I remember senses about it and you know in
3:51 work that I’ve done to heal myself and grow as a person because you need to in
3:57 my industry you can’t be carrying your baggage because it can end up on your
4:00 clients yeah a few things have come up about cycling Tracy and I’m sure it would have the
4:05 devastation of the people who are weren’t around at that time which was I
4:11 think it was 73 wasn’t around there anyway 74 I was close that was
4:16 pretty close end of 74 almost 75 because it was Christmas I remember it
4:21 was very much a Christmas time and for people who don’t know who don’t live in
4:25 Australia or where not around at that time all of Darwin was more or less wiped out
4:30 by this cyclone yeah and at Christmas time and our story is that we lived in a series
4:37 of apartments that my family owned and we were in the first one and being
4:43 Christmas Eve the men were playing cards in the last one and having their drinks
4:48 and they couldn’t hear the wind the way we could and they weren’t taking as as
4:53 the times are and the generation and the culture cuz in case you hadn’t gathered
4:59 by Paterakis my last name is Greek they weren’t taking the ladies very
5:05 seriously about needing to move so by the time we did move our apartment was
5:10 half full of water we had a power pole sparking into the apartment and when we
5:17 were leaving so it was just me and my younger or my second sister because the
5:21 third sister came after as we’re leaving the the roof flew off and it flew off
5:26 backwards luckily as if it had flown off forwards it would have crushed us and we
5:32 spent cyclone Tracy in in a row of cars against a wall at the school next door
5:39 oh my god now I don’t want to go into this too much but this is quite
5:44 interesting so how did they know that was the safe place to be
5:48 well it was just the the only place they could see that could shield the cars
5:51 from the wind Oh wow more than anything else it was just about where
5:56 can we go and it was like because it was nearly everyone in that apartment block
6:00 and a lot of them well not all of them but some of them were you know Greek
6:04 heritage as well so it was all about you know all these people were like we had
6:08 no where to go we couldn’t get there fast enough
6:10 yeah now I can understand why this would affect you even though you don’t
6:14 consciously remember it obviously from a subconscious unconscious perspective it
6:20 would be very much in your psyche seeing devastation of the area and then being
6:25 part of the rebuild of that because I know a lot of people left Darwin at that
6:31 time and did choose not to rebuild no well we we we stayed we went interstate but
6:38 my mom my sister and I my aunt and my cousin were sent to Adelaide and my dad
6:44 and his brothers stayed and brother and uncle and you know they all just stayed
6:48 and rebuilt yes you know it wasn’t just that I was
6:52 separated from my dad after a trauma I lost all of my top toys I was the firstborn girl
6:59 in the family in Australia and I was the first one to get my grandmother’s name
7:02 so there was like there’s one photo that remains of me at my first birthday
7:08 and you can barely see me amongst the toys oh my god so I lost all of those
7:13 and I never really had a Teddy after that so there is this all these really you
7:18 know how people had security blanket animals yeah I never had that never did
7:24 I that’s another story yeah but I don’t know if that would have been different
7:27 if cyclone Tracy hadn’t come along I just don’t know yeah so I lost you know
7:33 be giraffes and rocking horses and all these amazing things and I understand then why
7:39 you have retiring right retiring with joy because obviously joy is important
7:47 to you because you had the joy and then obviously it was you know taken away
7:51 from you so then let’s move on a few years so
7:55 so obviously you rebuilt in that area and then you is there anything else that
8:02 you want to sort of touch on you know in your growing years your high school
8:05 years or why you choose-yeah well you know the other sister came along so there was
8:10 three of us now and we were living in a in a really nice comfortable home in one
8:15 of the suburbs and my dad was that had a concreting business so in the cyclone
8:20 obviously affected all of us any leftover concrete it would bring over
8:24 and fill the walls so we live in a concrete bunker with Greek arches it’s
8:29 great ok my big fat greek wedding is this what we are seeing my mother got very upset at that movie Oh why, that is not us, oh yes it is, it was pretty accurate. You actually look a
8:52 little bit like the lady whose starred in that and she wrote it too didn’t she
8:56 well I’ve been confused with Elle McFeast as well so you take your pick yeah I can see
9:00 that too so yeah it was interesting times but I
9:07 had my cousin’s around me growing up and we had a lot of extended family oh well
9:12 you know friends that were considered family but you know school I loved
9:16 making friends I loved being around people in fact school was one of my
9:19 favorite things to do accepts the bullying I was quite
9:22 intensely bullied all the way through school and why was that um my weight my
9:29 appearance yeah the fact that I was Greek you know it was the days when we
9:36 used to get called WOG a lot and not in a nice way I really appreciate
9:40 what what Effie and Nick did in Acropolis now to get that term and for us to
9:50 strangle it back just for us you know it’s a it’s a it’s a running joke
9:55 amongst us that a lot of people aren’t allowed to use and that’s good because
9:59 it used to be quite painful The Greeks and the Italians were definitely called that
10:03 yeah but I can also remember speaking to a Greek friend of mine oh he was in his
10:10 30s and his name was Nick and he said that he was bullied at school but he was
10:15 always called ethnic never nick and i thought and i said ‘yes and he said it
10:21 was quite traumatic I said yeah I can understand that I said but it is pretty
10:24 clever when you think about here as a 30 year old I think it’s clever but as a 8
10:29 year old I did not think it was funny yeah well they thought they were clever
10:33 too and I’ll call me fat Arrakis but it was it was almost like bringing my
10:39 ethnicity in my and my appearance together and shaming me for both at the
10:43 same time obviously you’re when you’re at school you don’t realise that’s what
10:48 you’re doing to someone but these things it took it took a long time to to just
10:55 go it is where it is but I think that you know you can I’m not upset with
10:59 those people anymore and I have Have your forgiven them absolutely absolutely they were children
11:05 good on you because that’s a really important thing to forgive
11:10 yourself and to forgive others and that’s what people forget they
11:14 carry these grudges and they get angry at these people whereas they realize it
11:18 comes down to you know they don’t even remember they are not even aware of it so it’s
11:22 time for you to forgive yourself and to forgive them and you know I tease
11:27 someone I used to go to Greek school and I teased someone so bad one day he punched
11:30 me in the eye so I’m not innocent either and not that his violence was acceptable
11:35 in any way but you know we were kids and we were doing things that we thought
11:41 were funny and with we if we can do it to someone someone can do it to us and
11:45 we’ve got to forgive the other people and we’ve got to forgive ourselves for
11:48 our hand in it we’re not we’re children yes we know better as we get older and I
11:54 guess my bigger issue is not with children who bully it starts there but
12:00 it’s those who then keep it going and then do it in the workplace to others
12:04 that’s where my I have and I had that happen to me as well I was bullied
12:11 through quite a bit of my workplace history too
12:15 and now in my work I’m meeting women who have been bullied out of the workplace
12:21 by younger women because they are the one their positions or they don’t
12:26 appreciate them their information or whatever is going on for that person
12:31 they might remind them of their mother or their grandmother or someone they
12:35 don’t like but there’s women who are being um who are older who being bullied
12:41 out of the workplace and then these women are stuck and they’ve got they’re
12:45 in their 50s or they’re in their they’ve been retired soon and they weren’t
12:50 expecting that transition and they’re in shock yes I can understand them and
12:54 that’s what comes back to the live love by design and the four pillars that we
12:58 love to touch on especially we’re in these sort of conversations and it does
13:02 come back to the very first one which is the all about you now when you know who
13:08 you are you know where you’re going hmm it’s it’s not that easy for people to
13:15 bully you know you are confident in who you are you have your self-worth your
13:21 self-esteem and you understand that the stuff is there stuff not
13:28 yours so you don’t take it on you may politely turn around and say do you
13:34 realize that what you’re doing is about you and because you have very low
13:38 self-esteem you feel that it is okay to bully other people and some people
13:47 have feel like there’s an entitlement as well too for them because they think
13:51 there might be better than you there’s an entitlement for them to be treating
13:56 you the way they do I’ve worked in politics and and in certain in senior
14:01 management I’ve had seen what closely was senior managers in all sorts of
14:04 departments as well and it’s quite interesting to watch the people who
14:08 bully out of entitlement yes so but do you that that also in my opinion and I’d
14:14 love to hear your opinion on this comes back to the people who feel they’re
14:19 entitled to things and normally the ones who are deep inside and not that loving
14:25 of themselves no not and that’s why they bully other people they don’t understand
14:31 that the more I love Who I am the more I can love everyone else and the more I
14:36 can have better relationships which is second pillar of live love by design all about
14:41 your relationships absolutely and and that’s what people just don’t understand
14:46 a lot of the time which is why I love speaking to to people like you to show
14:51 how simple it is to actually live a life where you really do love who you are and
14:57 love your life and when you love who you are and love your life then everyone
15:04 else benefits from that that you love as well and I think that as women sometimes
15:09 we can get stuck and we think we’ve got to give give give give give we leave the
15:13 cart half empty for ourselves but what we don’t realize is that we’re leaving
15:18 ourselves half empty for everyone else to and we’re not able to have the kinds
15:24 of relationships we want to have that’s right because we’re burnt out from just giving
15:29 and and you know and I’ve said this many times when you are saying yes to other
15:34 people you need to make sure that you’re not saying no to yourself
15:40 yes because a lot of the time we do say no to ourselves and we wonder why we end
15:45 up in resentment and depleted and where is what about me when am I going to
15:50 have my time absolutely absolutely and and when are you going to have your time
15:56 and some people say I’ll do that at retirement but you won’t , you won’t because it whats normal now is
16:03 the best time in the world as everyone knows the best time to plant a tree was
16:09 20 years ago and the second best time is right now
16:13 yeah so now’s the time which is what I love about your retirement with Joy
16:17 you are planting seeds for these women so that they can ensure that their
16:24 retirement is going to be full of joy that they are going to have passion and
16:28 purpose and and vitality you know how many people I know so many people and
16:34 actually a good friend of mine he retired one week and he was dead the next
16:39 week hmm so and he was only 65 like that’s so
16:45 young yes hey if you’re 20 it’s probably not young but believe me it goes like
16:50 that and you’ll be there before you know it before you know it well my my I guess
16:55 the other thing that influenced all of my life is that my father and mother
16:58 have a 16 year age gap okay so my dad’s Is your mother 16 years older than your mother
17:04 no no the other way around. I know that but my father turns 88 next year
17:09 well he’s the same age as my mother mm-hmm and I’m 45 and I’m his oldest
17:14 child yeah he was yeah he was very he was a mature adult when he actually had
17:24 children and I kind of followed I was mature adult I had I had my first child
17:28 in my late thirties them in my second child at 42 which is how old dad was
17:32 when he had me and Wow so it’s a it’s interesting to see how young he still is
17:41 yes but how not young my mum is oh that’s interesting and the reason is that he’s
17:48 been really well looked after and most Greek men are they are but my
17:54 mom has done a lot of looking after others but not a lot of looking after
17:59 herself and so I think I’m very mindful of that in my life and I you know I’m
18:06 not innocent of it in any way but you know if you don’t start again should
18:12 have started 20 years ago but I’m very happy that I started now yeah and and
18:17 the thing is that you if you’re not going to start if you’re not going to
18:22 start you can start anytime but don’t be under the misconception that you will
18:27 retire and then start that’s because it’s a misconception because if you
18:33 never have before if you’ve never set boundaries if you’ve never said no and
18:38 you’ve said yes to others are no to yourself it doesn’t start overnight this
18:43 is a process it’s creating a new commitment to yourself and the
18:47 commitment has good days and the commitment has bad days and it’s a
18:52 process it is a process and I’m a great believer in actually not only
18:59 being or I always say I’m only in competition with yesterday me but I’m
19:04 also very aware of yesterday yesterday me and I’m very aware of how she is
19:10 progressing each day and making sure at the end of each night I reflect on the
19:15 day I look like everything that you know I would do exactly the same next time
19:20 I’d look at everything that I may change next time and I like to look at what
19:24 I’ve learnt ever about myself or the world or others to make sure that I am
19:30 continually growing that that I am becoming the person that I want to be
19:36 and the only way we can do that is to keep track absolutely and a lot of people don’t keep
19:42 track and I’m not saying keep track on the nasty things in life it’s about
19:47 keeping track on where you’re at and how you’re growing because we don’t if when we
19:53 reflect back of who we were as a at the beginning of the year to who we are at
19:57 the end we can say you’re I’ve grown I’ve learned a lot I’ve done things but
20:01 doing it daily it helps you to grow even more
20:05 yes absolutely it helps you to see where you want to go and how you can close that gap continually
20:12 and I have to say starting my own business has really pushed the
20:19 boundaries in so many ways Isn’t it good isn’t it wonderful so it should and I
20:27 think there is I don’t think that there’s an end date for that I mean I want to
20:32 I I think the end date is when you actually go on to your next adventure
20:36 that’s right on the other side I mean on the other side yeah I got that
20:40 yeah I’m just making sure that our viewers got that the beauty of it what
20:47 if you be more clear if you value personal growth you will always put that
20:54 as a priority in your life and I honestly believe that you will be doing
20:58 personal growth until the day you die absolutely and if you’re not what what’s
21:03 the point of living like what’s the point of living in what I love to call
21:08 your Groundhog Day daze because that’s what I was like when I was in my CFO
21:13 role it really was every day was the same and and what’s the point of that I
21:18 know how to do that so what’s the point why not learn something new and I’m not
21:24 saying go bungee jumping or anything like that but why not make sure that you
21:28 are as you say having a joyful life absolutely so what does a joy mean to
21:35 you Maria joy I think joy it comes from within from a place when you realize
21:43 that you don’t have to you know it’s so interesting you don’t have to control
21:47 everything ah yes I have to say I have my control
21:51 freak moments but I’m far more releasing now yep allowing allowing flowing and
22:02 expanding I love that expanding thing and I think joy is when you create a life that
22:11 involves people that really inspire you and stimulate you and help you grow as a
22:18 person and you do the same for them um I think
22:23 joy is taking those moments and not and really being present for them you know I
22:28 have a very busy life I have two small children I have a fly-in fly-out husband
22:33 and I have just for for some people who might understand what does I know what does
22:39 fly-in and fly-out mean okay so my husband flys out to a mine for ten days and
22:44 then he comes for 11 days and comes home for 10 and for other families it’s more
22:48 than that it might be two weeks on one week off we have the best roster we’ve
22:52 ever had at the moment but I’ve always known that to be the case it was like that
22:56 since I met him and he was in the mines so he was always going to be fly in fly out
23:01 okay um so there’s 11 days when I’m parenting on my own yes and really the
23:08 first couple of days I am a little bit as well because he’s so tired when he
23:12 comes home from working you know 12 14 hour days for 11 days straight though
23:19 you you are parenting more on your own I’ve got this new little baby called
23:26 retiring the joy going on as well and it’s full on so creating space for
23:34 yourself and time for yourself but you know I was gonna say what is joy is
23:38 taking those little moments when your child is doing something amazing and
23:42 just stopping yes I think that is so good I can remember shonda rhimes
23:49 who is the writer and executive producer of so many amazing series like Grey’s
23:56 Anatomy and I think she I think she produces um how to get away with murder
24:01:00 and all those sort of things and she’s a she’s a single mother and she actually
24:05:00 made a comment that she was running out on night she had to go to some movie or
24:13:00 premiere or something and her child just said Mummy Mummy please just look at
24:17:00 this please come and look at it and she said
24:20:00 I’ll do that tomorrow and she walked two steps and she went no I won’t and she
24:25:00 came back and she sat down and she was half an hour late to where she was meant
24:30:00 to be she said that was the most perfect thing she
24:33:00 could have done yes in that moment and then she rearranged her whole life because
24:38:00 she realized that her children grow so quickly and let’s face it oh my god I’m
24:44:00 61 I was 21 not that long ago it just went so quickly
24:50:00 and it’s really good to understand that it’s the moments that matter it’s that’s
24:57:00 and on your deathbed you’re going to remember the moments you’re not going to
25:03:00 remember these great big awards that you won and all this sort of stuff it’s
25:08:00 going to be the moments that your heart was touched oh absolutely and I love to
25:15:00 say that gratitude is just taking it and being present in the positive totally
25:21:00 yes so when you’re giving gratitude for something you’ve come to
25:25:00 realize something in your life and you’re being present in it in the
25:29:00 positive you know and gratitude and love cannot exist at the same time as fear no
25:36:00 I love that so when you’re in those two spaces you’re out of fear and fear is what
25:42:00 stops us from doing most things absolutely yeah
25:46:00 so you feel the fear and do it anyway which is what’s happening the last felt
25:53:00 the fear and anyway I know and no matter what you fear it never happens anyway
25:58:00 you think all this is gonna happen maybe you meant to learn something from it
26:07:00 maybe you’re you know I I love that saying that you know the universe is
26:12:00 designed for us and it happens for us not against us so if you’re looking for
26:16:00 the the wisdom in it you’ll find it maybe not straightaway maybe in
26:21:00 hindsight but you will find it yeah I always liked the other one which is if
26:26:00 you want to make the universe laugh tell them your plans, very good very good so what are the pitfalls
26:35:00 for women when they retire okay so the first one that I know about is that they
26:39:00 overestimate the longevity of their relationships from their work oh okay
26:45:00 so explained that it I’ll explain it so what they do is they think
26:49:00 that their relationships at work are going to be long-standing relationships
26:53:00 and when they’re not they’re every day they’re not there every day and one or
26:57:00 two of them might be but a lot will fall off and if you think about other
27:02:00 transitions you’ve made in your life like if you’ve gone from one work place
27:05:00 to another yeah it’s been the same but the difference is you’re not going to
27:09:00 another work place and actively or and creating new friendships so you don’t
27:14:00 miss them so much but when you retire and if you don’t go out and actively
27:21:00 create new networks your world becomes this yes I can imagine that yes yes but
27:29:00 not only that your day becomes very long yeah because you’re not doing things you
27:34:00 need a reason to get up every day and to go and do things as if you’re just
27:40:00 sitting around going okay at 7 a.m. and I’m up and I’ve done my exercises so now
27:46:00 what am I going to do all day yeah like I’ll start I start watching the morning programming and
27:52:00 I’ll just kind of have it playing at the back while I potter for the rest of the
27:55:00 day and I’m not saying that days like that aren’t good for you because they
27:59:00 can be very good but not 365 days of the year
28:03:00 yes okay that totally makes sense so you help them to find networks to join is
28:08:00 that part of it like you suggest things on the show or yeah we want to talk
28:13:00 about things like that yeah absolutely I’ve got a support group on the show
28:17:00 it’s called retiring the joy filling the world with feminine sunshine because my
28:22:00 my mission is to help wisdom help women share their wisdom their light and their
28:27:00 feminine sunshine that’s my my motto so yeah I’ve talked about it and it’s
28:34:00 really about it’s not it doesn’t have to be very hard you just need to join a
28:40:00 couple of groups or in like I moved to the Gold Coast three and a half years
28:45:00 ago and I knew not only knew one or two people and they lived far away from me
28:48:00 so I had to create my network ny entire new network I just went to the
28:54:00 same coffee shops okay and sat down and had coffee on the
28:59:00 same day at the same coffee shop you know and started talking to people and I
29:05:00 just started talking to people and I meet the owners who became my friends
29:09:00 and and I’m still connected with all of them and I have to say the Gold Coast
29:14:00 is very much like that now I live I moved to the Gold Coast when I was 19 and I
29:19:00 left when I was I think mid mid 40s okay so and and I do intend to go back there
29:30:00 and next year but um but apart from that I find that the Gold Coast of all areas
29:35:00 I’ve lived in people are more open to friendships because most people have
29:40:00 come from somewhere else see Darwin’s the same yes whereas in Sydney
29:47:00 they can be a little bit more clicky plus Sydney so big it is hard to have
29:52:00 relationships with you know some people you work with because you could live an
29:55:00 hour away from each other in the opposite direction sort of thing yes
29:59:00 though I do understand that where the Gold Coast is a lot smaller
30:02:00 geographically but I do like the fact that you went out and you didn’t
30:08:00 sit at home and you thought I need relationships and we all need
30:13:00 relationships because being lonely is it makes you angry it makes you notice all
30:24:00 the negative things in life as opposed to when you’re you know you can be more
30:29:00 positive as you said and I just feel that relationships sometime can be
30:34:00 undervalued I think I think also that you can or you can forget how to create
30:39:00 relationships if you go too long and you stay too long with yourself especially
30:45:00 for women who are retiring on their own yes there is a real risk that you end up
30:50:00 being a homebody and not doing much else other than your family
30:54:00 and not that that’s a bad thing it’s just that it’s not the most you’re not
31:01:00 living a well-rounded life exactly you know that’s an even if you have kids
31:06:00 like the kids are busy living their life and they’ve got kids and
31:10:00 those sort of things it’s not as though they can be with you every week that’s
31:14:00 right and and you know and you as an when you reflect back on your life you
31:20:00 reflect back to well I was busy creating my life and growing
31:25:00 and and you know building my expertise which is our third pillar of the live
31:30:00 love all about your expertise making sure that you can provide for
31:34:00 your family as well so you can’t expect your children to be continually around
31:38:00 sure you expect them to be around you but not in the 24/7 continually there
31:45:00 for you I just want to end up like mother and son that show that was on TV Oh Gosh no
31:53:00 though the other thing that happens is that people can underestimate the value
31:57:00 of having a routine and structure in their day I totally agree that I’m so
32:01:00 into setting up the rituals and doing them then it doesn’t have to be at the
32:06:00 same time but as long as you do things every day to ensure that you are you
32:12:00 know living and loving your life absolutely because you can end up having
32:17:00 your days kind of like flow into each other if you haven’t got some kind of
32:21:00 structure and not getting out of bed you know like your bedtime the time you go
32:27:00 to bed can get later and the time you get up can become later and all of a
32:31:00 sudden your night becomes your day if you’re not careful yeah and that’s not
32:34:00 good either it’s not good at all so that that’s another another pitfall a really
32:41:00 big one is loss of identity ok explain that so often we identify with
32:48:00 our roles and not in our professional role our professional roles and not not
32:53:00 just our professional roles but other roles in life
32:55:00 wife mother yeah these are all roles they’re not you so when you identify for
33:03:00 identify with your roles you kind of lose yourself yes I totally get that and
33:08:00 I think that what I one of the things that I do in the first day of the
33:13:00 program that I run cause I run a 2-day retiring the joy program as well is that
33:18:00 we look at solid really getting you strong
33:24:00 and your idea your identity as you as Karen as Maria instead of it being
33:31:00 about your roles and then using that to build and work out what which is the
33:38:00 next one your passion and purpose are because when you lose your identity you
33:43:00 can often not know what your passion and purpose are as well so we work out what
33:49:00 your passion and purpose are so that you know what you want to do for your third
33:53:00 act yes and I love that I actually did a I heard Jane Fonda talk and she actually
34:00:00 was in her third act the ascension yeah and I just loved that terminology and I
34:07:00 think it’s so great because you know we are all playing a role I’m I’ve always
34:12:00 said we’re all just down here living in a movie we’ve created who we want to be
34:16:00 we create who we want to hang out with and I’m glad you’re in the picture Maria you know
34:23:00 what I mean we were all here to live this role to find we all have a purpose
34:28:00 in our life and we why not be passionate about our purpose hmm which is so great
34:34:00 so moving on to just the fourth act cause with fast running out of so that was
34:39:00 the fourth passion and purpose yes yeah I was just saying the fourth live love
34:44:00 pillar about wealth creation because I feel this is very important for
34:49:00 retirement hmm so what advice do you give people or experts do you help come
34:57:00 in to help people to build so that their retirement isn’t a isn’t sort of so
35:06:00 scarce well I think that the first thing and the most important thing is to know
35:12:00 who and what you want to be and what you want to do in your retirement or your
35:17:00 third act so I did write a blog this week which was about a whole range of
35:24:00 things around retirement but in particular superannuation and I’m no
35:28:00 superannuation expert by any means now just a sec for people who are overseas
35:33:00 our super annuation superannuation fund is what our employers pay into
35:39:00 during our working life so that we have this nest egg when we retire and I know
35:44:00 it’s called other things in other countries yes so so what I wanted to say
35:50:00 about that is that a lot of women are saying to me that they can’t afford to
35:55:00 retire yeah and other women are saying why would I want to retire I love what
36:01:00 I’m doing I’m never going to retire not even a word that and you know I have to
36:06:00 be honest I said retiring with joy but really retiring is just a thing that
36:11:00 people understand for that age group yes yeah right because it’s not going to a
36:17:00 job five days a week yes and living on your terms that’s right so yeah exactly right
36:23:00 so doing what I’m doing I’ve met amazing women like yourself Thank you who are in their 50s
36:29:00 and 60s starting new businesses becoming entrepreneurs whether it’s in a helping
36:37:00 others business like yours where you you know you’ve written a book you coach
36:41:00 people whether it’s in network marketing whether it’s in you know just creating
36:48:00 their own little home business I’ve started making candles or whatever it is
36:52:00 they’ve decided to start a venture yeah and they’re doing it in their 50s and
36:57:00 60s and it’s not something they want to stop doing mm-hmm and I know I know
37:02:00 people still doing that in their 70s so I think that maybe that’s the new model
37:08:00 of retirement I’m seeing it’s so common now and and so often that the women who
37:13:00 are doing that in their 70s and they’re so full of life that’s it because I have
37:20:00 a reason to get up every day that’s right they are living their passion they are living their joy and
37:25:00 they have a purpose to every day absolutely and they have a structure and
37:30:00 they’ve got connections and they’ve got networks and ah it’s just a an they’re part of
37:35:00 a sisterhood that they’re just absolutely loving so I think that if
37:43:00 you’re not going to if you can’t afford to retire or you have you can afford
37:49:00 to but you want to do it with meaning then
37:53:00 both are exactly the same thing yes it is it is about finding the things that
38:00:00 you’re passionate about doing the research and if you’re in a job you hate
38:05:00 and you’re 50 start now exactly right exactly then work out what you want to do so
38:11:00 that brings me another ah one more point and I know that we are running out
38:15:00 of time but what is the ideal person for you to actually work with what age are
38:21:00 they retirement right retiring with joy
38:24:00 shouldn’t it be people in their mid 30s and up who come to you no okay no well
38:33:00 that the statistics say that you should be or the advisors say should be
38:37:00 starting to plan for retirement at 45 okay Maria I would have thought it was
38:41:00 young but that’s okay yeah so 45 is what you really start looking at your
38:45:00 financial planning and you’re like now the reason why I say you’ve got to
38:50:00 know your values and what what you want to do is because if you value
38:54:00 family and then you decide to go and leave all your family and move to
38:59:00 another city you’re not living in accordance to your highest level value
39:04:00 if you want financials if you want to have freedom in your retirement and
39:08:00 travel but then you buy into a retirement village now and you’re a bit
39:12:00 stuck financially then you’re not living your highest value and you’re not
39:16:00 enjoying your retirement so I think it’s really important to know those things
39:20:00 before you start your financial planning yes that’s such great advice one last
39:26:00 question because we really do have to go and that
39:30:00 is apart from retiring with joy I know that you’re very passionate about
39:36:00 women and I know that you’re a great supporter of the me to movement and
39:41:00 everything like that but what do you feel is the next step with that okay so
39:46:00 I think that the MeToo movement has definitely changed and for those who
39:51:00 aren’t aware about what the MeToo movement is the MeToo movement came about
39:55:00 of what happened in the USA were these very high-powered celebrity and
40:01:00 film executives yep who were being really inappropriate with women and
40:07:00 abusing and assaulting them so women started banding together and saying me
40:13:00 too and they did a hashtag on Facebook and
40:17:00 Twitter and everywhere and it went viral and I think that that is such an
40:22:00 important thing because women were standing up for women and I was standing
40:25:00 up with women without actually saying enough enough enough is enough men you
40:31:00 can’t do this anymore yes but I think that there needs to now
40:34:00 be another acknowledgment and a real sense of honesty amongst women and I
40:38:00 think I touched on an earlier women do abuse women yes emotionally yes they do
40:46:00 bully women and it comes from a really old almost ingrained paradigm in our you
40:52:00 know we have our light side as women we’re nurturers it’s very much a lack
40:56:00 mindset yeah if you have I can’t yes you have it I can’t but I know where it comes
41:01:00 from and I understand and it comes from a almost like a primal time when we
41:05:00 needed men to protect us to survive it was a survival skill yes so we would
41:13:00 compete against women we would judge other women we would try and put
41:17:00 ourselves first for them so the men would protect us I understand that but we’re
41:22:00 not in those times anymore no and there was also something that happened where
41:28:00 women who in order to progress in their careers in the 90s had behaved what they
41:34:00 masculated their behavior to cope it that world I think it was earlier than that
41:39:00 like an eighties the sixties seventies if there was a a movie that came out with
41:44:00 Melanie Griffith’s which was all about that and I think that we came out in 85
41:50:00 since women really got into the workforce after World War two
41:54:00 absolutely so I think that now we need to stand up as women and say okay we
42:00:00 need to elevate one another we need to stop all the judging and putting each
42:05:00 other down and I think older women have got a really strong role in this because
42:11:00 as you get older you still worry about all those things yeah
42:15:00 I totally agree I totally agree and I think that’s a really great movement and
42:21:00 let’s face it enough is enough enough it’s about time that we got together
42:25:00 and I understand that when we collaborate truly collaborate not the
42:32:00 true meaning of the word we do amazing things because we create this third
42:38:00 energy around us women come in together as women as knowing who they are and
42:43:00 then you have another woman who exactly same who knows who they are and then
42:48:00 together we don’t we don’t need each other that we want to be together
42:53:00 because we know together we can truly make a difference and and I guess the
42:59:00 the crux of it is how can we expect to be equal with men if we can’t be equal
43:03:00 amongst ourselves and I’m not even saying that you need to like every woman
43:09:00 you meet you can respect her journey and where she’s at in her life but so I’d
43:17:00 like to take that one step further go for it
43:19:00 what you don’t like in that I’m a person you actually have within yourself maybe
43:24:00 a shadow side you don’t like so actually you look at that woman and say what is
43:29:00 it I don’t like about you and where is it in me and where do I need to heal it
43:34:00 and then thank the lady you don’t have to see her again
43:37:00 but there’s no need to bring her down no and there’s no need to body shame age
43:43:00 shame you know tear down self esteem of other women or compete with them in any
43:50:00 way because every single one of us have a light inside of us and wisdom inside
43:55:00 of us and we’re individuals I love that saying you know be yourself because
43:58:00 everyone else has taken ladies be yourself because everyone else has taken
44:02:00 but together we then say to men no no no no no you really can’t do that anymore
44:08:00 and they there is a different energy that comes from that so I’m saying
44:16:00 hashtag I elevate you ladies that’s beautiful good on you Maria you
44:24:00 have been an amazing guest and we have all of your contact details below this
44:30:00 video but I believe that you have a special little gift for all of our
44:37:00 viewers I do I do and it’s the five reasons why building a sisterhood can
44:42:00 support you to retire with joy I love it yeah fantastic so thank you again for
44:49:00 being here this was an amazing interview oh an amazing conversation I just love the
44:58:00 way we just let it go wherever we don’t even know what we’re gonna talk about we have
45:03:00 an idea though we never know what’s going to happen, I’m never lost for words, very rarely and that is probably why we are over time
45:16:00 Maria thank you so much and everyone please reach out um as I said Maria’s details
45:22:00 are all below so thank you for being here thank you for having me and that
45:29:00 has been another episode of live love by design TV a place where you truly can
45:36:00 learn to live and love each and every day to love who you are to love your
45:43:00 life and to create your dreams faster I really appreciate you staying to the end
45:48:00 of today’s episode our conversation went on a little bit longer than planned
45:53:00 though you have to admit there were many many many live love gems received today
46:00:00 isn’t life about making sure that you can retire with joy isn’t it about
46:06:00 making sure that each and every day you are filled with laughter passion and
46:12:00 purpose that is right so thank you for being here and I look forward to sharing
46:19:00 another episode of live love by design TV with you very shortly thank you